Love Before Faction
by Fourtris Eaton
Summary: Natalie Wright is a young sixteen year old girl who had been placed in Dauntless as part of an experiment to stop the killings of Divergents. That had always been the plan. That had been the plan until she met Andrew Prior. This is the story that was never told. Check back for new chapters each week!
1. Chapter 1

I remember the last thing that David and I had talked about. He told me not to be worried because they would be watching and I would be safe. It was strange that he had taken the role of protector with me as we were almost the same age. But in this day and age, age doesn't matter. It's who you are and how you're raised. You have to be able to deal with certain situations or else you won't survive. But it wasn't just him being protective of me. He has feelings for me, and he makes no effort to keep them from me or hide them away. Though I wonder if he thinks he does a good job of being professional. He is for the most part, but I've spent a lot of time around him and I know how to read him and his social cues. I know how he feels and it makes me glad that I'm leaving because then maybe he's realize that it's strictly geographical. He's a friend to me, like a brother and I can't imagine feeling anything more for him than that.

He had told me to be patient and that I wouldn't have to be in the city for too long. This would be for the greater good. To stop the people murdering those that are genetically pure. All I had to do was fit in. It wasn't like I was stupid. I wasn't going to mess this up. I knew what I was doing. I had been well prepared for this. I had gone through extensive bouts of training to get myself ready, both mentally and physically. I was being thrown into the Dauntless faction. It was the easiest place for me to go, given my tattoos. The memory serum would keep people from asking too many questions about me so that I could integrate fully into the faction system. After leaving my home in Milwaukee; after seeing my mother do what she did to my father, it would be nice to have a family again. Or rather, a family structure.

Getting taken to the Bureau had been scary, at first. I thought they were going to murder me, or lock me up because I had murdered that boy. I had seen what government officials did to people who murdered other people. But I wasn't in danger, and they didn't hurt me. They were protecting me. Since they had found out that I was genetically pure, everything changed for me. Through the eyes of the Bureau if a person with imperfect genes killed someone with perfect genes, it was a crime. If a person with perfect genes killed someone with imperfect genes, they were just defending themselves. I don't see the logic in that. People with perfect genes shouldn't get a free pass to do whatever they want. But I can't say anything, because it's what's keeping me safe. It's what's keeping me alive. So I don't question it and I don't speak up. I have a job to do and I'm going to do it; no questions asked. They're using me because I know how to manipulate the simulations. Given my perfect genes, I could get through the faction system undetected and take out whoever it is that's killing people in the city that was once Chicago.

Today is my first day of classes and I'm a little nervous. It's not that I don't know what to expect. I've been watching the factions for a few months now so I know how they run and I know what they do and what they stand for. And I've already been at the Dauntless compound for a few days now so I know how I interact with people here. But today will be the first day that I interact with people in the city. Though given my faction, I wonder how many people will try to keep their distance from me. Dauntless have been known to be a little crazy, dangerous and from what I've seen, like the Abnegation, people tend to steer clear of them.

I don my black jacket and red tank top and pair them with my black pants and I leave the compound to head to the Hub for school. I run amongst a group of Dauntless chatting about nothing in particular as we make our way to the train. I didn't have time to train for this. Or a way to train for it. Running after a moving train and then jumping up without looking like a fool? It's not as easy as it seems. But over the past few days, I have been able to get the hang of it. We get off of the train and I follow everyone to the Hub and once we get inside, we all go to our separate classes.

I take a deep breath as I go to enter my classroom and I run into someone, my things falling to the floor. And I quickly apologize. I bend down to grab my belongings and I see a flash of blue. An Erudite. My body tenses because we know that the killer is in Erudite. But does that mean I should automatically be wary of anyone who dons blue clothing?

"It's my fault," the boy says. "I was rushing to get here on time."

I smile and we stand together. "Not a problem," I say. I look down at what I'm holding and realize I've got one of his books. He's already walking into the room. "Hey!" I call after him, a little louder than I should have, so every turns toward me. I hold up the book. "This is yours."

He looks at the book for a second before taking it from me. "Thanks," He says with a smile. He has a gentle smile; kind. And it's a smile that makes me smile...spreading tingling flurries through my body all the way down to my toes. It's a strange feeling, but it's one that I want to duplicate. Everyone watches for a moment before turning back to their own conversations. The boy goes to the front of the classroom, where most of the Erudite sit; eager to learn, I guess. It doesn't surprise me. Everything that Erudite stands for is spreading the mind and taking in as much knowledge as they can. I hadn't experienced that feeling until I had been taken into the Bureau. Once there, having the opportunity to know things that others didn't, it gave me a sense of pride. It made me realize that feeling...was everything that embodied the Erudite. But some of them took that feeling too far. Knowledge is power. And power tends to corrupt.

I look at the back of the classroom where most of the Dauntless students are laughing and joking around. One of them has pulled out a deck of cards to pass the time before the teacher comes into the room. I sit with them because I have to fit in. I have to be like them if I don't want to be suspected as anything more than what I am pretending to be. During the class, the Dauntless pass notes and hardly pay attention. But I pay attention. I notice and I learn because I find their Faction History to be interesting. Even if it's not the truth. I know what I know from my training and lessons back at the Bureau. What the government had taught me about the experiments. I had been apart of my own experiment before I ran away. Before they found me and took me in. But this experiment, in this city...it was a major success. It had stood here for over a hundred years. They knew what they had done and they were keeping it running. But the Erudite were killing off the genetically pure. Because they didn't know the truth. All they knew was that they weren't like everyone else. And if they couldn't be classified as just one thing, they had to be dangerous.

I don't know what I was expecting on my first day of classes. Maybe I expected to not feel such a sense of belonging, I guess? A sense of pride in learning about a community that had succeeded over the years. But I did. And I enjoyed the feeling. I enjoying knowing that despite everything that had gone on outside of the fence surrounding the city, the people inside survived. It was extremely different from the experiment that had gone on in my city. More together, more at peace. But I know better. Peace is reserved for those who are oblivious to the truth. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't go back to dauntless compound right after classes end for the day. I stay in the Hub in one of the rooms off the main floor to work on the school assignments that I was assigned today. They aren't difficult, they just make me think. Before being taken into the Bureau, I hadn't cared about learning, or anything. I had cared about surviving. Surviving was the main key for me. But now that I was safe, at least for the time being, I could relax and I could learn everything that I had never known before. The textbook in front of me shows me pictures of the way life used to be...before the war. The buildings are tall and the cities are packed. It's strange, to see so many people in one place at one time. The Genetic war was damaging and it killed a lot of people. I stare down at the pictures for a while, and then close the book. I shiver and I pull my jacket closer into me as I grab another.

"Are you cold?"

I look up at the voice and I see the boy that I had run into earlier before classes started. I had been so distracted with my reading that I hadn't even noticed that anyone else was in here. Am I that lost in my own mind that I don't realize people are around me? If that's the case, I have to get out of my own head and branch out. I'll never find anything out if I keep this up.

I smile at him. "Just a bit," I say with a shrug. "I'm fine."

He gets up from his seat and starts walking over to me. He takes off his jacket and smiles back at me. "Here," he says, draping the blue material over my shoulders. I shouldn't be wearing this coloring. If anyone saw me, I don't even know what would happen. I'd never seen this happen before. Not once in my months of watching the people in this city. Except maybe, from an Abnegation. Selflessness was the stronghold of their faction. But neither of us belonged to that faction.

"Thank you," I tell him. His scent attached to his jacket is strong, but it's soothing...nice. I grab my pen from the table and twirl it between my fingers because I don't know what else to do with my hands at his point. This had never happened to me before. I didn't know what to do in this type of situation. "I'm Natalie."

"Andrew," he says. He reaches out for my closed textbook and begins skimming through the pages. I don't even mind at this point.

We sit there for several moments, him just reading my text book and me looking down at my notes from earlier in the day. It's nice. Quiet and peaceful and for a second I forget what I'm doing here. I forget that this isn't really my life. I'm not really this girl who was born into Dauntless who is brave and daring like her parents raised her to be. But in the silence that spreads between us, I am her and she is me. I forget it all. Until he breaks the silence, this is. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was just that: Silence.

"Are you nervous?" he asks.

I look at him, shaking my head a bit as I'm confused to the question. "Nervous?" I repeat. "About what?"

"The tests," he says. "It feels like the day's just coming up on us out of the blue."

I nod. There are two months left until the aptitude test. I know how to beat it, I know how to manipulate it to get me the result of Erudite. But as for the waiting part...I don't have to wait as long for the test. Everyone has been waiting their entire lives worrying about this test. Who it will say they are, who it will say they aren't. I only had a few weeks and I don't even get to let it tell me who I really am. I am smart, I am fiercely smart, but I'm almost more than one thing. That's why I can't be classified. That's why I'm dangerous. That's why I'm considered Divergent. "It's insane," I tell him.

He closes the book. "Can I ask you something?"

My body stiffens. Hidden beneath his jacket and my own jacket, I hope that it's not obvious to him. I'm about to answer him when the bells on the clock ring and I look at it. It's half past six, which means that I should get back to the compound before dinner. The train comes in ten minutes. I grab my things and put them in my bag before standing. I hand him his jacket.

"Wait, where are you going?" he asks, siting up straight in the chair and looking at me with a confused expression.

"I've got to get home," I say with a shrug. I bite my lip. "You can ask me tomorrow, right?" I ask. I pull my bag over my shoulders and head for the door. I turn back to look at him. He's still staring at me and I like the way that it makes me feel. Even if it's strange and new. And even if it confuses the hell out of me. "See you tomorrow, Andrew."

I hear him say goodbye, but I don't wait. I'm already heading toward the first floor of the Hub and running toward the train tracks. I have never experienced that feeling before. It has spread through my veins at the faster than I could even blink. I had been on my own for a long time before being taken in. My main focus was staying alive and staying safe. I had never really had that opportunity to experience a crush or first love. This is all new to me. So new that the way that my heart is pounding in my chest, it scares the shit out of me. I swallow as I reach the top platform and wait for the train. There are a few other Dauntless members on the platform with me, they're the only people who take the train. We're the only ones who need too. Everyone else's housing is closer to everything in the city. I guess that's better, keeping a safe distance from the factions that they don't want to associate with. It makes it easier to forget who you are and where you come from, if you're a faction transfer. Or if you don't know where you belong.

I sit on the train in the last car, staring out of the window at the passing buildings and the fading light of the sun. I take a breath and I realize that I still have his scent on me. I feel myself blush so I pull the hood of my jacket up to hide my face somewhat. Time is running out until we're all meant to take the test. Nothing was ever going to be the same for me. Because even when I take out the killer, David will take me out of the city and place me somewhere else. And I don't even know if I _want_ to go somewhere else. As crazy as it is, this city is home for me now. And that's saying something considering the fact that I've only been here a few days. I've been given a fresh start and I've been given the chance to find out who I am. Who I really am, and who I'm mean to be.

And even though it's not going to be easy, I knew what I was agreeing to when I signed on for this. I think that in the back of my mind I knew that this was going to be a challenge. But it would also be a good chance to figure out what I'm meant to do with my life. I have two months to figure out what I want before taking the test and manipulating the system in a way that puts me into the Erudite faction.

And I don't know if I'm even close to being ready.


	3. Chapter 3

I am even more eager to leave the compound this morning. I know that it's partially because of Andrew which is why I have left that out of my report. I don't want David to think that I'm not doing my job and then pull me out of the program. I don't want to go back to the Bureau. At least not for a while. I like it here, and I'm starting to fit in. Making friends was a good thing, it made everything seem less suspicious, but what I think that I want from Andrew isn't just friendship. And I know that I probably shouldn't be thinking that way, but I can't help it. I'm excited to get to classes today, but I know that I have to keep my distance. In normal cases it shouldn't be too hard considering the fact that we're in different factions, but he seems friendly enough not to care about the clothes on my back. I leave earlier than the rest of my classmates and I grab the first train that heads into the city.

When I get off of the train, the sun is barely starting to light the sky. I zip my jacket up to my chin before heading into the Hub and walking up the stairs to get the room that I was in yesterday. I want to read up on my classes' assignments before I fall too far behind. I stop in the doorway when I see who's already inside of the room. Heat spreads through me and I don't know what to say...or maybe I could just back away without him noticing that I'm here so early. But before I'm able to turn away, he looks up and when he sees me...he gets this smile on his face. The smile that makes me smile back.

"Hey," he says closing his book. "I was looking for you yesterday."

"I told you, that I had to go home," I say. I decide to enter the room because now that he's seen me, I can't very well run away. That wouldn't be very Dauntless of me, would it? I sit down across from him. "I wasn't lying." It comes out

"I didn't say that you were," he says holding up his hands in defense as if to protect himself. Were Dauntless members known for striking when angry? I had been that type of girl before. To strike people when they had angered me, or upset me, or provoked me. But I had a chance to start over. This was a chance to start again. I was getting a second go around and I wasn't going to risk getting taken out of the program so easily.

"I'm sorry," I say. I lick my lips and shake my head. "Why were you looking for me?"

"Ah," he says with that smile of his. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a book, handing it to me. "I wanted to give this to you."

I take it from him and I look down at the cover. It's worn and looks as if it's been read multiple times. "What is it?" I ask him.

"It's one of my favorites," Andrew says. "It's a classic even from the olden days. It's been passed down through my family for years."

I shake my head and look at him. "Then why are you giving it to me?"

He shrugs and smiles at me. "I think that you'll like it," he tells me. "It's not a big deal."

"Something that's passed down through your family is kind of a big deal," I say. I hand it back to him, but he doesn't reach out for it.

"I'm not taking that."

I stare at him. "What are you talking about, yes you are."

"No." He just shakes his head. I stare at him in confusion because I don't know what's going on in his mind to just give this to me. "Besides…" he says leaning forward on the table like he's about to tell me a secret. "I'm just letting you borrow it, Nat."

Nat. No one's called me Natalie since my father. Not even anyone at the Bureau. I had told them my name was Natalie and so they didn't call me anything else. Surprisingly not even David had called me that. And since my dad was killed, I hadn't wanted anyone else to call me Nat. But once it fell from Andrew's mouth, I didn't want to tell him to take it back. But it does take me a second to speak again. I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod, setting the book on the table.

"Okay then," I say, sitting back in my seat. I run my fingers through my hair and I bite my lower lip. "Why are you being nice to me?"

He looks confused. "Should I be _mean _to you?"

I shake my head. "No, I just mean...we're from different factions."

"Yeah," he says. "We are."

Why is he so different? In the months that I had spent watching the city from a room full of monitors back at the Bureau, I had never seen anything like this. It was Faction before...well _everything_. People here barely interacted from other factions. Not even when they were scheduled to work the same area. But it is nothing like this. It seemed like it was the norm, people knew where they belonged and they stuck to their factions. And if they switched factions, they made new friends. There was no going back and no changing your mind. Why was this important to him? Why am _I_ important to him? I shouldn't be...I am just a girl from Dauntless and he is a boy from Erudite. We are from two completely different worlds.

We stare at each other for a few moments before he clears his throat. I look away only briefly to take a breath to try to calm my heartbeat.

"So tell me about yourself."

I look back at him and lift my shoulders in a shrug. "I just..." I shake my head and smile at him anyway. "I'm Natalie Wright."

"Andrew Prior," he says holding out his hand. This I knew. This was familiar to me. This is how Dauntless members greet each other. I shake his hand and when he pulls his hand away, I can still feel the heat of his fingers on my palm. It's a strange feeling, but one that I don't mind. One that I want to feel again. "You didn't answer my question yesterday."

"Yes I did," I say.

"Not really," he tells me. "I asked you if you were nervous and all you said was it was insane."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "You have a good memory."

"Only with the things worth remembering."

I can't stop the smile from forming on my lips at his comment. "Uhm..." I brush my hair out of my face. "Yeah. I'm nervous." But not for the same reasons he is. I'm nervous because of the task that I have been assigned. It doesn't matter what the aptitude test will tell me because I have to choose Erudite regardless of the results I get. "But in a good way…if that makes sense."

He grins. "It does."

I'm starting to get warm so I unzip my jacket and set it on the table. Dressed in a black long-sleeve t-shirt, the tattoos on my arms covered. I set my elbows on the table and I look over at Andrew. He's watching me with a half-smile on his lips, so I stare back at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him.

He doesn't answer for several moments. Before he says anything, there is movement by the door and I look up. A blonde stands in the doorway and is looking directly at Andrew. I feel heat in my chest and I wonder if what I'm feeling is jealously.

"Andrew," she says, cocking her head to the side. "Let's go."

Her eyes fall on me and she looks me up and down. Yeah. It was jealously. At first. Now…it's annoyance. Before, if anyone looked at me like that, I wouldn't tolerate it. If I wanted to, I could hurt her. She doesn't look dangerous, but there's something in her eyes that translates into something sinister. I look back at Andrew, who sucks on his teeth and gives me a look like "what are you gonna do?" before standing. He taps the book in front of me.

"Let me know what you think, yeah?" he says.

I nod and watch as he leaves the room. I stare at the empty doorway for a second before looking down at the book. _Wuthering Heights_. I bite my lip and open the cover when the bells ring. I sigh and pack the book into my bag before leaving the study area and heading to my first class. I sit in the back with the rest of the Dauntless who don't question where I was this morning. It's something I've learned in Dauntless. You don't ask questions. I glance over at the sea of blue and I'm barely listening to the teacher speaking. I shake my head. _Stop looking at him_. I tell myself. And I do. I turn away and try to pay attention. But out of the corner of my eye I see Andrew looking at me. I feel the heat spread to my cheeks and I bite my lower lip, to keep myself from looking back. I have to concentrate. Keep my distance. But I can't stop myself. I turn my head only slightly to meet his eyes. He doesn't turn away like most people would when getting caught staring. And I think that's why I'm drawn to him. Because he doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him. Let alone some random girl from Dauntless. But he keeps watching me and I know that he's about to change my life. I don't even know him, but I want to get to know what inspires him and why he is the way that he is. And I want him to know me. _Real _me. Not the fake me that was invented to come in here and overthrow the person in Erudite killing people.

Me. Natalie Wright. A girl who doesn't even know who I am.


	4. Chapter 4

After the first class and during breaks before my teachers starting teaching, I had starting reading the book that Andrew had given me. And I was sucked in. I made extra care not to damage any of the pages of the old book, but I couldn't put it down. If I could have I would have skipped the rest of the day to just read. When lunch finally came around, I went to the room that seems to be pulling at me and sit in the corner of the room. I lose myself in the characters and the story and my heart breaks with them. He loved her...so much. I am so entranced in this book that I don't even notice anyone has joined me in the room until I hear my name. I close the book and look up, expecting to find of the Dauntless looking at me and wondering why I'm reading when I could be doing something...anything else. But when I look up, I see Andrew standing there looking at me with a grin on his lips.

"So, do you like it?"

I look down at the book and place a palm to the front cover. "How'd you know?" I ask.

"I saw you reading during class," He said. "All of them, actually."

I bite my lip. "It's good," I tell him. "More than good."

He crosses the room and sits next to me on the floor and I am suddenly hyperaware of how close he is sitting next to me. I turn my head to look at him and I can't help but smile at the way that he's looking at me. I bite my lower lip.

"Should you even be in here?" I ask him. "I don't' think your girlfriend will be too happy to see you with me again."

He looks confused as he stares at me. "My what?"

"Your girlfriend," I tell him. "Tall, blonde..." _Pretty_. I don't add the last part because it's obvious, especially to anyone who's seen her. She may look scary and intimidating but there was no doubt that she was pretty. "You know the one. From this morning."

He laughs. "Jeanine?" he asks me, shaking his head. "No. God no, she's definitely not my girlfriend."

"Oh." I feel stupid now, and lately it was rare that I felt stupid about anything. I didn't generally let myself feel that way. "I just assumed because of the way..."

"No," he says. "That's just Jeanine. She's kind of intense."

"I got that feeling from her."

He smiles at me and lets out a breath looking out of the window in the room. I follow his gaze and notice the way the sun shines off of the buildings in the city. "Were you jealous?"

I turn to look at him, my eyes wide. "What?" I ask. "No….no of course not." The words come out a bit too fast and I realize that I may have answered the question I had been trying to avoid. I swallow and try to slow my heartbeat. "Why…why would I be jealous?" He doesn't answer…he just smiles at me and I bite my lower lip because I know that I am blushing again. I turn my gaze back to the window. "God, what is it about you?"

"I don't know," He says. But then I feel his fingers brushing against my hand and almost instinctively, I flip my hand so that we can lace our fingers together. I have never had this before. It was so strange to me. I shouldn't be enjoying this…I should be focusing on the plan; on my job; on anything other than the way his hand felt in mine. I take a breath before willing myself to look at him again. He's got that smile on his face, the one that makes me weak. "So I was thinking that maybe you could help me with something?"

I shake my head, my brain not fully understanding everything that was going on. "With what?"

"One of my classes."

"But…" I pause. "But you're Erudite."

He grins. "I may be Erudite, but even I have some trouble with things."

I make a face at him and lean down to rest my head on his shoulder. "Sure," I say. "I'll help you."

"Yeah?" He asks. I nod. "Good. Because it was really an excuse to see more of you."

I can't help but smile and his thumb brushes against my skin, sending sparks up my arm and across my body. I swallow. The moment is nice and as much as I don't want it to be over, something is nagging at me and I can't stop myself from speaking. "Why me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm nothing special," I say.

"Nat…"

"No, I'm serious," I tell him. "I'm just a normal girl who doesn't really have any interesting qualities to separate me from the rest. I'm just Natalie."

"Well…_just Natalie_," he says and even without looking I can hear him grinning. It's funny how I've picked up on the little cues from him in just the two days that I've spoken to him. Is that what kismet is? Is that what having a real connection felt like? "Maybe nothing special is just what I've been looking for."

I let out a breath and shake my head. "You have horrible timing, Andrew." I don't what his plans are for after the test and my plans are Erudite. So maybe…maybe we'd have a shot. A chance at…I don't know…something. But after I choose and after I stop whoever it is that's killing us, will I be pulled from the program? Will I not have this life anymore? Will I go back to just being the girl that I was before? Will I go back to having nothing? I close my eyes and force myself to take a deep breath because if I think about it for too long, I know that the thoughts will overwhelm me and I won't be able to handle it.

"Or maybe I have wonderful timing."

I life my head to look at him. "Seriously?"

"What?" he asks with a laugh. He squeezes my hand. "Oh come on, Nat. It can't be all bad, can it?"

I purse my lips in thought and go back to resting my head on his shoulder. "I just…"

"Don't talk," he says, his voice quiet. "Just breathe."

I open my mouth to dispute his comment, but I stop myself due to the fact that I don't have a damn thing to say. In no time at all, the bell rings, dismissing us from lunch and we both let out a sigh. He gets up and helps me to my feet and I put the book back into my bag. I hitch my bag over my shoulder and bite my lower lip as I glance over at him. "So…"

"Do you want to walk to class together?"

I shrug. "Are we even allowed to?"

Rules were rules. And mingling with people from other factions, while not illegal, was highly frowned upon by faction and government leaders. The rules of this system…I didn't understand them. But I knew that there was no changing them. You had to abide or you were seen as a threat. And I had to abide because this was my job.

"There's no rule against it," Andrew says. "But…just to be safe, we should probably keep the hand holding reserved for this room. Among other things."

"Other things?" I asks, raising my eyebrows at him. "What other things are you thinking about?"

Now it's his turn to blush. "No, god, I'm not like that, I promise…" he rubs the back of his neck. "I just meant…that _if_ we do anything else, we need to be careful." He takes a step toward me. "Not everyone here can be trusted."

My eyes flick up to his and I don't breathe for a moment. This is what I've been sent here for, wasn't it? To find out the truth? I nod, understand. "Definitely," I say. "I get it. It's nothing personal."

"No, of course not," He says, smiling at me. He lifts a hand and brushes loose hair behind my ear and smiles at me. "It's definitely not personal."

I like the way he's looking at me. David had looked at me the same way, but it's different coming from Andrew. I _want _him to look at me like this. It makes me feel things…important, dizzying, brand new things. I stand on my toes and press my lips to his cheek, letting my lips linger there for a second too long. I pull away slowly, but he whispers my name and I don't move. I meet his eyes and he gives me that half smile. He leans down and presses his head against my own. I close my eyes and take in his scent.

"You're going to mess me up, aren't you?" I whisper.

"Are you afraid?"

I open my eyes to find him staring at me. I shake my head. "No, "I say. "Are you?"

He brushes his palm against my cheek again. "Not in the slightest."


	5. Chapter 5

After school ends for the day, we don't stay at the Hub. I know a place where there are no cameras set up for the men back the Bureau to see and I know that no one in the city knows about it. I am not quite sure how I will explain to Andrew how I know about this place, but I'm hoping he'll just take it as the mysteriousness of being Dauntless born. Or maybe he's just not going to ask. I'm more than likely going to get reprimanded for being off camera for too long, but I don't care. I don't want them to see this, especially not David. I don't need to give him a reason to pull me out of the program. This is important to me. I feel like because I couldn't save my mother, I want to save anyone here that I can. I slide open the door to the large building and squeeze through the gap before glancing back at Andrew. He hasn't questioned a single thing since we left the Hub. He didn't ask where we were going or what we were doing, he just followed. I should be more careful around the Erudite, but there's something about him, something I noticed since that first day, that stuck out to me. I trust him...more than I've ever trusted anyone in my entire life. Which isn't really saying much, given the life that I've had.

He slides the door shut again and I set by bag down on the floor and sat down on the broken off pillars of the building. He watches me carefully and then copies my movements sitting down next to me. He wipes the dust off of his hands onto his pant legs and then turns to look at me. "How'd you find this place?" he asks me.

I bite my lower lip and shrug. "Just a Dauntless secret I guess," I tell him. "Don't tell anyone though," I grin.

He shakes his head. "It'll be our little secret," he says with a smile of his own.

I smile back at him and bite my lip, nervously. I have never been alone like this with a boy before. it's strange, and makes my heart race, and yet, it's a feeling that I wouldn't trade for anything.

"What's wrong?"

I look up at him and shake my head. "What makes you think something is wrong?"

"You look nervous," he tells me. "Are you nervous to be alone with me?"

I shake my head. "No," I answer. "Of course not."

That was a lie. Of course I am nervous to be alone with him. I am nervous of my feelings for this boy that I have just met. These are feelings that I have never felt before and they're terrifying. Because I know that nothing can come of this. I don't know how long I am to stay here, how long that David and the others will let me stay. But when I am with Andrew, I don't feel like Natalie Wright, the girl chosen for the assignment within the walls of the city. When I am with Andrew, I am just Natalie. And I feel like I don't have to worry about anything.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his eyebrows coming together on his forehead. I swallow and turn my gaze from his. But then his hand is on my chin and he's turning my face to look at his. My eyes focus on his and he's staring down at me. "You seem nervous."

"It's not because I'm alone with you, "I tell him. "That's not why I'm nervous."

"Then why are you nervous?"

I can't answer this question. If I answer this question and he finds out about me, who's the say the other's won't find out? "Because I like you," I say. Too much. Does that make me weak? Having feelings for someone? Or does that make me human? I don't know what's considered right or wrong, this is just a feeling and no one has explained it to be before. I was never given a normal life, a normal childhood. Andrew was raised differently than I was. He and I couldn't be more different. So what is it that he sees in me? Or does he see anything? Is this just a game to him or something? An illusion maybe?

The corner of his mouth twitches up in a smile and I see a hint of a blush on his cheek and he drops his hand. "Yeah?" he asks, biting his lip.

"Yeah."

"I like you," He tells me.

I shake my head. "Why?"

He looks confused. "What do you mean, why?"

I shrug. "Why do you like me?"

"Because you're the first person to look at me like I'm just a normal person," he says. "It's like you don't see the colors of our clothes. It's like you see the real me."

"I do," I say. "I see you."

He reaches out and takes my hand and laces our fingers together and I can't remember the last time that I've felt something so completely natural. I look down at our conjoined hands and I can't help but smile at the sight. He tugs my hand and I am pulled off of my pillar and am now standing in front of him. He is still sitting, but with his height, we are eye to eye now. He lifts his free hand and brushes my hair out of my face and behind my ear. I let out a breath and move in, resting my head against his. I close my eyes and we just stand there for a moment. My heart is beating so fast in my chest that I am sure that he can hear it. It's so loud.

"Nat," he says, and I open my eyes to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"Can I..." I he pauses and then licks his lips, nervously. "Can I kiss you?"

My heart beats faster, if that's even possible at this point. "You don't need to ask." My voice comes out like a squeak, I am so nervous.

He smiles again. "Yeah, I do," he says before closing the space between us. Once his lips meet mine, I hold my breath and then I realize that I shouldn't be doing that. So I release it and lift my free hand to wrap around his neck, steeping closer to him as the kiss deepens. I don't know how long it lasts for, but for a first kiss, I couldn't imagine anything better.

I can't keep the smile off of my face and my cheeks are hot. He scoots back on the pillar and pulls me up with him so that I am sitting between his legs, his arms wrapped around my center. I let out a contented sigh and I breath with him, feeling his heart beat against my back. I lift one of his hands and press it to my lips.

"Can I be honest with you?" I ask him.

"Nat, you can tell me anything," he says.

I smile. "I never expected this."

"What?"

"You," I say. "You kind of just...dropped in on me."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, definitely not."

He kisses the back of my head. "Good because I'm not going anywhere."

"But what about..."

"Don't," he says. "I just...I want to enjoy this."

I bite my tongue. If he doesn't want me to bring up the Choosing Ceremony and we only have a few months left, what does that mean? Will we just never talk about it? No one knows the choices they are going to make until the day of. And even now, even with me barely knowing him, the thought of losing him...it makes me want to cry. There is so much that I want to say and so many things that I want to tell him, but instead I say, "Okay."

Today is just the first day. But the clock is counting down and eventually he and I are going to run out of time. And what am I supposed to do when we don't have any more days.

"You're still thinking about it, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I answer.

He kisses my cheek and let's his lips linger there. "What can I do?" he asks me.

I turn my head to look at him. "You can kiss me again," I say with a small trace of a smile.

He doesn't need to ask this time.


	6. Chapter 6

Andrew walks me to the train tracks an hour later. I don't want to leave him. Which is crazy because I shouldn't care for him quite as much as I do. The feelings overwhelm me and being apart from him makes my heart ache. I have never experienced this kind of emotion before. It's always been a myth to me. Something I've read about and seen in the old films. But I've never even seen it between my parents. Probably because it was never there to begin with. I don't want to name it yet. I'm afraid if I name it, it'll go away. Or I'll wake up and it'll all have been a dream.

I check my watch to see when the train will be coming. I have a few minutes left with him. I wish I had more time. I have a feeling I'm going to always want more time with him. I wonder if there's a way to get rid of those feelings. Or at the very least, lessen them. "I'm sorry we didn't go over your questions," I say lamely. Things were easier when we were kissing. I wasn't using as many neurons then.

But he doesn't seem to mind my momentary lapse in brains. He just smiles at me. "It's okay," he says. "At this point…I'm not really in it for the studying."

I tilt my head to the side. "Then what are you in it for?"

He leans in and I'm frozen to my spot. "I'm in it for you," he says softly.

I bite my lip and try to remember how to breathe. "I'm not a thing to be won," I say, my tone harsher than I intended it to.

He pulls back. "I never said that you were," he says.

I shake my head. "I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't mean that."

"Nat, is everything…are you okay?"

I nod. "I'm fine," I say. "I'm just…"

"Are you thinking about the Choosing Ceremony?" he asks me.

I can't lie to him. _You already are._ I silently slap down my subconscious, even though I know that it's right. My whole life here is a lie. I don't have a family. I don't have anything but myself and the Bureau. And I owe it all to them for where I am right now. I could be dead. I _should_ be dead. I should not have survived. But to put anyone through what I've been through because I think I have the right to someone like Andrew…I can't do it. I can't lose anyone else important to me. As good as he makes me feel, I can't let myself lose focus.

I swallow, trying to put up walls. "Honestly?" I ask. "No. I have way bigger things stressing me out."

Andrew raises a brow at me. "What is more stressful than the Choosing Ceremony?"

I smile stiffly. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

He looks around before reaching out and trying to take my hand, but I pull away from him. "No," I snap at him. "You can't do that. There are people watching."

His eyebrows come together. "What?"

I hear the train coming, so I just shake my head. "Never mind. I've got to go."

I take a step back and he moves to follow, so I shake my head again. "Stop, Andrew. Just stop. This can't happen. We can't do this."

He falters in his step as he stares at me. He stands up straight up and his eyes widen, mouth parting slightly. I know that face well. "Please tell me you're kidding right now."

I feel a sting in my eyes as a lump grows in the back of my throat. I stare at him blankly as the train rolls right past us. I curse. "Great, thank you," I say, bitterly. "Now I have to walk."

I turn on my heels and walk in the direction of the Dauntless compound. There is nothing there that will comfort me. The only thing that will make me feel better is the boy standing behind me, looking like I've broken his heart. I wipe at my cheek when I feel the tears spilling and I hiss, not wanting him to hear me. "Stop it," I scold myself. "You need to focus on the job."

I'm so busy talking to myself that I don't hear the footsteps following me. I react as I've been trained to when a hand grabs my arm and I flip them onto the ground. Andrew groans, his eyes squeezed shut in pain.

"Oh my god!" I scramble to my help him up, but he stops me when he's sitting up, gasping for air. "I am so sorry!"

He holds up a hand. "It's fine," he says. "Fine. I just…breathing is a little hard now."

I collapse on the ground next to him and rest my face in my knees. "I'm not supposed to feel anything for you," I whisper. "You weren't supposed to be here."

"What do you mean, supposed to be?" Andrew asks. "You're not making any sense, Natalie."

I lift my head to look up at him. "Of course I am. You just don't understand my sense."

"That doesn't make sense," Andrew repeats. He takes my hand and this time I don't stop him. "Natalie, you can trust me with anything."

"That's the thing, Andrew," I say. "I'm not supposed to trust anyone."

He moves to take his hand from mine, but I squeeze his hand so that he can't take it. "Please don't."

"You're sending me mixed signals here."

I sigh and lay back on the ground, staring up at the dark night sky. "Just because I'm not supposed to trust anyone, doesn't mean I don't want to. Everything about you is driving me crazy, Andrew."

"In a bad way?"

"In a good way. In all of the good ways."

He squeezes my hand and lays down next to me. "So what now?"

"I have to take it one day at a time," I say. "But we have to be careful. Besides, who knows if we're even going to see each other in a month?"

"Don't say that," he says, his tone harsh.

I glance at him, surprised to see passion in his eyes. "Why not? It's the truth. We don't know what the test will tell us."

"Right now, I don't care what it tells me," Andrew says. "I just care about you."

I chew on my lower lip. "I care about you, too."

"So talk to me. Tell me what's stressing you out."

I shake my head. "Not that. Anything but that."

"Why?"

"Because it could put you in danger."

He smiles. "I'm not afraid of Dauntless."

I wish it were that simple. I wish that it was just my foster faction that was the problem. "There are worse things out there than Dauntless, Andrew."

He looks at me, waiting for me to explain, but he shrugs when he realizes I'm not going to. "Okay," he says, looking at his watch. "I should go."

"Yeah," I say. "Not that anyone is really waiting up for me."

"I'd wait up."

"I know," I smile shyly.

He hops to his feet and helps me up, holding my hands. "I want to kiss you goodnight," he whispers. "But I know I can't. So I'll just have to settle for morning."

"Morning?"

"I was thinking we could meet at the place you took me tonight? Is that pushing it? Should I not have asked?"

"It's perfect," I tell him. "What time?"

"An hour before classes?"

I nod. "I'll be there."

"Are you really going to walk home?"

I shrug. "It's fine. I'm used to the dark. And I flipped you on your ass. No one can hurt me."

"Be careful anyway. Please? For me."

"For you, Andrew? Anything."


End file.
